Time had changed..and it has changed again.

*FLASHBACK*

I woke up this morning to despair and pain,
Time had changed and it has changed again.
Its the absence of someone that once I could claim,
I’ve lost a battle, and its just me to blame.

I opened my eyes and saw nothing I did,
No walls, no windows or something to heed.
All I saw was a white expanse,
With a stormy wind,
Touching the surface of the land.

*PRESENT*

I shiver with cold and there’s no one for me to care,
I die in vain as a hundred people stare.
‘You love me – I know’, I said to myself,
But I’m lost in the snow, wrong again.

I keep looking for your love, your anger, your caress,
But all I find to cuddle, is your beautiful dress.
You gave me birth and despised me too,
Still deep inside, I’ll keep loving you.

*PREDICTS*

For now I’m a vagrant,
I’ve lost all my hope.
I see a ray of sunlight,
But there’s a long way to go.
‘An Eternal Life’ – I dreamed of years back,
So I’ll be living it now, and in the years ahead.

*PRESUMES*

I catch a glimpse of someone, someone is so true,
Got closer and nearer, that is when I found you.
Eyes as deep as the ocean, no more pain for you to feel,
Just the purest soul, whose come for me to heal.
No cold for my hands to shiver,
No hatred that pierces my heart.
Only the warmth of love for which,
I have waited from the start.

*FUTURE*

When I wake up this morning,
There is no despair, no pain.
No absence of someone,
I can still claim.
No battle to win or lose,
No one to blame.
TIME HAD CHANGED…AND IT HAS CHANGED AGAIN.

Image

Image

Advertisements

Symphony Over Syphilis.

I must have caught many peoples attention just by the name of this blog. Curiosity is really a nut, or a type of inquisitive thinking that makes us nuts. Either way. Curiosity delivers attention. 

Rough times, tough times, difficult times. We have all sorts of names for a particular phase in our life which doesn’t work out our way. The modern notion, revolving around the very young and spontaneous people, suggests to deal with it in a very ‘bold‘ way. 

Break-ups. Family difference’s. Low self-esteem. Unhappy because of having no relationship or having one which is breaking in two like ‘The Titanic’, all point to one direction. Syphilis. HAHA! People who know about this theoretically or practically are going to see this very differently than the other.

The idea of hooking up is largely followed among my age group. This “therapy” is apparently effective, quickest, easiest yet not the safest. Though that doesn’t bring down the statistics. I don’t have very many people whom I call my friends. But mind you. I have each and every type you may not even expect. Ofcourse, I know a few of this homeland. And man are these people happy and satisfied!! Many of them continue with this just because they enjoy it. My take on this, unhygienic, a lil’ bit? Yea, but that is just me.

 Music, hmm. I like the sound of that! 😉 
The art or science of combining vocal or instrumental sounds (or both) to produce beauty of form, harmony, and expression of emotion. Sounds very smart, whereas the reality is very simple. 

The other set of people that I know, are something, close to like, er, weird? Be it a break-up, a dispute, financial issues, lost pencil, world war! Music is the archangel for them. The answer to all the problems. The epitome of solutions. The people who live in a parallel world, though they are physically present, their soul is taking a dip in Nirvana. Thanks to the Gods and Goddessess of music we are lucky to have, there is a whole platter, different genres which people choose to dwell on. 

The bright side of everything here is that everyone has a sense of escape. That doesn’t make one an escapist, but only makes life worth while. When we are running out of patience, friends, money, etc. An escape is the only medicine to survive. 

Our minds are tethered with every valueless thing and negativity that surrounds us. Its a pestilence, which wins every time we accept to lose. 

Symphony or Syphilis are just two of the many options we have to fight back. The choice though, is entirely ours! 😉

ImageImage

A Wondrous Stare.

The heart begins to shudder,
your breathing loses a cue.
You miss someone and stutter,
Somebody so true.

The trueness you see from your eyes,
a soul both bright and blue.
Who’d be there to be by your side,
without even wanting a clue.

The storm would feel as a soothing wind,
the fire as a warmth of care.
The stillness of water wouldn’t scare me,
because you were always there.

It may seem I hadn’t heard a word,
it may seem I didn’t see.
But all of the things you taught,
meant a great deal to me.

You gave me glorious visions,
and values I always seek.
You’re exactly that I know of,
what a father could be.

Now, I sit by the window,
looking over the street.
I sense a palm running down my hair,
the way to me you’d greet.

You’re around, I feel it,
though I can’t always see.
The absence of you is where I look,
thinking ‘how could this be?’

So I hold close your picture,
something that God did spare.
‘I love you’, I say, and give it,
a wondrous stare!

P.S. When I begun writing this, I didn’t have my father in mind. But once it started, he was all I could think of! Perhaps he was the reason behind my writing it, I just didn’t know. I have no idea whether its good, bad, or decent. . . but what I do know is, this is exactly how I feel when I think of him.

ImageImage

Something Like A WHIPLASH !!

Words. Tricky little trouble pots. You are either amazing with them, or you just simply suck. 

1 week and 1 day since I wrote something, not too long. Though according to me, it feels exactly the opposite. My body is an air tight container, mind a hot summer day, and soul a carnival of human emotions. I need ventilation at regular intervals. Rusty brain and heavy heart never took anyone ahead, inhibition needs to be shed in order to have a lighter and comfortable journey in life. 1 week and 1 day since I wrote something, it literally seems way too long.

People have their own ways of dealing with their own self. The person they need to pamper, take care of, love, splurge on. The person that is within us. Though, we all have an inclination of depending on others to do that for us. Others being our loved one’s, the only bunch of people we have expectations from, hence evidently making a mistake. The lessons I’ve been taught in my life through different mediums have proven to be of great succor, although the way they were and are taught has made life an arduous journey. 

In times of trouble when I often find myself drowning in the ocean of cogitation, I also think of the people who could possibly pull me out. And I can think of nobody, fortunately. Because that is when I realized that if I persist, I may really drown, blaming it all on contemplation. Everything and anything I may have done to reach the point before I started drowning, will be washed away with the salty splashes of the ocean I’m sinking in. My dreams will end up being nothing but a reverie, my actions of benevolence will be forgotten just like the deeds of the greater men and women. The love I have for the ‘one’ wouldn’t be as explicit as it should have. The joy and the happiness would never be known to the friends who incited it. My smile would be missed, my absence would be observed, my laughter would be dreamed of, and my voice would echo. All of this and more would occur if I wait restlessly for someone to pull me out, for I could think of no one who would do that. . .

SNAP BACK!! 
I am not drowning anymore. No longer hindered by my malign thoughts. I pant as I strive to catch a breath, failing profusely. I keep trying, until my continuous attempts to hold on to myself is achieved. That very moment, realization dawned upon me. Clouds that covered my mind, eyes and heart vanish as it all becomes sunlit. And I opened my eyes to the truth. 

Nothing in this world is yours. No one, no thing. Nobody but you are capable of making yourself smile when its the most needed. Nothing will give you more happiness than self-satisfaction. Nothing will help you pull up unless you want to. And you may never comprehend this unless you find yourself in a similar situation as I did. 

Call this comeuppance or a benefit, but it is the reality I learned the hard way. Maybe everyone will, sooner or later. In this world full of bigots, we must learn to be our own support system, a pillar of strength. And if not, then we certainly must learn to swim!!

A Kaleidoscopic View.

      “..but dad, you roam around the world, meet so many new people. Life has been gracious to you, and you have been gracious to life. You heart has always been filled with kindness of the people around you, nerves with adrenaline, and mind with experience. You are a wanderer you said. You have gathered wisdom as a collectible from all the place you have been to. With all of this and more, how could you ever miss home?”

      Smiling with his eyes, he replied to his ever so curious daughter, “that is very well put. Impressive for a 10 year old my love” he smiled now, “whatever you said is absolutely correct and I do stand by it. So tell me, can you define what ‘home’ is?”

Dad never treated me as a young girl. He always talked about the world, of its varied cultures and people, about writing and what it meant to him, about love and affection, about life, about beauty and the philosophy that surrounds it. He never treated me as a young girl. But more like a friend. A friendship that I feel was beyond the imagination of any individual, including me. As insightful as he was, I fell in the opposite category. Knowing a person and understanding them are two very different things. And I always caught myself in the middle of this bewilderment, especially when it came to my dad. 

“tell me, how would you describe a ‘home’?” He questioned, eager to hear what I had to say. In less confidence, I replied “umm..a home is a place where you live with your family, a place where you feel warmth and love and security”, I glazed at him, hoping it gets accepted. “hmm, technically that is accurate, but humanly, or to be precise emotionally, it isn’t”. He took me in his arms, making me feel the warmth of his body, which was never less than a thousand degrees! I counted his heartbeat, humming along the beats, that is when he asked, “how does this make you feel?” “lovely” I replied, “elaborate that a bit”, “I feel warm and loved when I am in your arms daddy”, “Do you feel safe?” he asked, “obviously I do!”. “Now, doesn’t that description sound similar to they you described home?” “yes it does” I replied. “Home is where you feel love, warmth, and security, and it is not limited to your family or to the four walls of your house. It goes beyond that, I feel at home when I am with you beta, similarly, a man who is fond of reading will find it in his books, a performer feels at home when he is on the stage. A man feels at home when he is in the arms of the woman he loves. A child feels at home when he or she is showered with love of a mother. A pet feels at home when he is patted for his loyalty towards his master. A person can feel at home because of his friends, hobbies, a passion or even places! You may call me a wanderer, a man full of wisdom and experience, and its very heart warming that you have such things to say about me my darling, but I do not have an identity, and I shall belong nowhere, if I don’t have a home.”

I was startled. The concept, the basic understanding of a home transformed after I was given this particular insight. Ever since then, I found many homes and I lost none. I was made to understand that it was something more profound, and that this is a feeling that can be felt only if its genuine and strong. My beliefs, my values and my principles come from my father’s teaching’s, from what I was taught, and from what I learned out of it. I might get shattered, but my foundation is strong, powerful enough to help me rise from a downfall. Thoughts need to be revolutionized. That is when we comprehend the true significance of things.
   I did nothing but smiled after what my father told me, as my eyes were enough to tell him how happy I was to have known above the mediocre. I curled in his arms as he hummed a tune unknown, fell asleep, though I felt awake. 

Image

Like it. Love it. Live it.

We have all read and learned about the ‘great depressions’. The financial downfall that every nation had once gone through, the difficult times when the constitution; the very base of democracy as its said; is put under the hammer and questioned. We have also read and learned about the economical phenomenon, the rise amidst the fall of all that surrounds them. Our knowledge maybe loose, but the awareness is stronger than ever. This is something very global, perhaps over-shadowing a man’s debt whose knowledge is faltered by the same. We all owe a lot many things to a lot many people, not just money, but time, affection, assurance, a shoulder, a hand that pulled us up. None of us are free from debt. But the biggest of all debts that we miss, is our life. 
We have now moved on to a level where basic things like home delivery aren’t free anymore. But all of that is monetary. Life’s debt is something that is the hardest to pay. Money is easy, it can be earned, and there are many ways to do that. So how do you pay back to life? Every minute in our life, is borrowed time, and if there is any way of clearing that debt, its by living every borrowed minute of it. 
Difficult times, good times, worse times, we have all of those in a proper balance. But its the man who smiles through all of it, stands out. We have a tendency of taking everything for granted. Its a fact. Life is the biggest example! We can keep a track on the money by checking our bank balance, knowing very well when we might run out of it. The people around us can be judged by their behavior, thus giving us an hinting whether its time to say goodbye. But does it apply to our life as well? We can never sleep in the night hoping to wake up next morning, even though we plan too. Life will end without giving a prior notice, but the question is, have you lived it enough to have no regrets when the time arrives? Most of us have so many things to do. We all have a ‘bucket list’, I do to. But I haven’t been able to strike down even a quarter of that list. And I’m positive that most of you haven’t either. Its not a pressure, its not a task, its not even that difficult!!! All we have to do in order to make our life worth while is LIVE IT! Smile, be kind, act generous, stay foolish, stand up for what you want, sit down with old pals, fall in love; alot! In a nutshell, do what you do best. Act on it, fulfill it. And when the time of bidding goodbye arrives, it won’t make anyone happier, but it shall definitely make it less grievous. Afterall it is life, and we DON’T know it.

Image

The Hypocrits.

I read this really awesome article in the newspaper today about how today’s young generation chooses the internet world over their parents. And this particular ‘doctrine’ pinched to me think about it, pinched me hard enough to come down to this – HAHAHAHA! 
To clear the air, I’d like to begin. Apparently a child’s best friend is now the social networking site, and various ‘stats’ (which I believe were random numbers picked out) state the different categories such as dummy accounts, people who use it just for the sake of chat, people who use it to express their feelings, etc. Now, I love the way certain organizations or online polls come up with such statistics. It is so blatant! I may sound like an angered teenager, but I’m not, infact I always believe in arguing from both sides, in this case the other side, is clearly concealed. 
People; I’m not sure which category to put them under; are forever trying to find reasons to blame. No matter what it is that we’re discussing about, blame is always the icing. In this case, they were bold enough to make such a statement, but overlapping the other things does not make it the truth. The social pressure, absence of care and moral support, religious obligations, and many such other things also play a vital role in ‘spoiling’ a youngster. The only way they benefit out of this is they get to blame. There is no sense of support for any kind of action that may lead to something wrong, but blaming something just because you are not able to fulfill responsibilities is certainly not accepted. The internet wasn’t a discovery that was recently made, it has been around for quite some time now. And no one learns unless they are taught. The elders refuse to believe that their actions have a supreme effect on the upbringing of the young one’s, they adapt to what they are surrounded with, and if they’re let alone by themselves instead of being nourished, like any other normal growing child, they turn to something they can confide in, friends, siblings, drugs, or the internet. There are reasons why new professions like child counselling are a growing sector, cos our surrounding’s have reversed in such a way that before a human hits the mere age of 15, he is already battling in his life. 
The worst part is when we accept hypocrisy with open arms and support it too. This isn’t the only case where the blame game happens. It takes place in every slightly politically connected thing that there could be. The only thing that is needed to be understood is that there is no one who can be blamed, except for yourself. Your actions, the things that you choose to adapt, choose to follow are the one’s that make the difference. The one that should be blamed when wrong and appreciated if correct. Judging the things that surround you doesn’t make you anything but a hypocrite, because you are very much a part of it. If charity must begin at home, change should too. So either choose yourself, or lose yourself in the privative and the most hypocritic world called the society. Image

“Talk to me”

Talking..words..communication. It has been the base of civilization, something that separates us from the other creatures on this planet. Its an amazing thing I believe, it helps you bond, get rid of inhibitions, opens you up as a person, makes you more knowledgeable, gives you peace and a lighter heart, its just a wonderful thing. Talking has brought plenty of changes in various aspects of life. It has helped us know people, our people, the people who would later become our loved one’s, just because you spoke and had a chance to look into their soul, hence bringing you closer to someone. Yea, talking is soulful. And its not an easy thing, not at all. It doesn’t matter if you’re a reserved or an outgoing person, its equally difficult for everyone. The only difference is that some people are less scared and more welcoming. It is ironic, people who talk the most face a lot of difficulty expressing through words, while the quiet one’s are unexpectedly good at it. This particular thing is so significant, yet we fail to realize it. Its not all that good really, as it is rightly said, every coin has two sides. If talking has brought people closer, it has also drifted them away. Its not the words that are suppose to blamed here, its the misuse of it. In negative times, we end up using this powerful source wrongly, saying things we would never mean to say. Now the problem is, the human mind functions in such a way that it catches and keeps the negative words very safely, thus turning you against someone, the result to which is not unknown. Most of the times, we use talking as a tool, and we forget the words or the worth of it. Many times we say things which we are absolutely certain about, yet we forget them, intentionally or maybe not. Its such a complicated process. Or its just the over-thinking that makes it complicated. When someone speaks and you listen, its simple, you use your heart to understand it, that is all. But when the cunning mind and the ego enters the picture, doubts, obligations and arguements enter too. So, is talking to someone a curse or a gift, more importantly, can you ever be too careful? From what I have experienced, the human mind can be very judgemental about words. Might even recieve it negatively. Talking definitely has its perks, though the absence of it can be gut-wrenching. You may run out of words, but it shall be worse if you run out of life before you could talk to someone, someone you’ve been meaning to express to, and someone who deserved it. We take all sorts of chances in our life, talking is the simplest and easiest of them. Its never too late to tell someone how you feel, how they make you feel. It doesn’t matter if its good or bad, what matters is using this resource for the betterment of things. Raising a voice or expressing, its all born out of words. It is not only righteous, but also necessary to use it well. Talking is a fragile thing, so we make sure we take care of this activity. Go ahead, and demand it, say the words ‘talk to me.’

Faces.

Human emotions can be startling. There are so many, that I end up losing count. We also have our own personal set of emotions, something customized, something where two or maybe more emotions come together at once. And what I find funny is, that we can never predict them! We end up laughing when we’re suppose to be serious, crying when we’re suppose to happy, and misunderstanding when we’re suppose to be satisfied. So very unpredictable. You can completely classify emotions as different personalities of a person, lets say faces. Our actions, reactions, way of speaking, behavior, even appearance for that matter, is affected by the different faces we wear everyday. And what decides this? Its nothing like picking out a dress to wear. If it were that simpler! Our brain is so perplexing, the filteration process of anything is very unclear. The emotions we go through also has a disturbing effect on our surroundings. You start picking up on the lyrics if you’re sad, music if you’re happy, beats if you’re groovy. Its fascinating that how we have different perspectives and approach towards just one thing! I sometimes wonder, are emotions secreted from some organ? Not that I have heard, although they do excrete some sort of chemical, and if that is capable of instigating such varied emotions in a human body, then no doubt we’re an amazing creation! But more than that, the influence has a major role to play here. Nobody knows how they want to be, everybody is confused, there, another emotion! Just yesterday I was all funny, and now I’m; WEIRD. Its frustrating. You know, even if you read something written by someone, if you read it closely, you’ll actually understand how was he or she feeling at the moment. Interesting isn’t it? We all have a set perspectives, yet emotions are more in number and also strength. I doubt whether there is anything that can be done by a human without letting the emotions getting involved, be it professional or personal. The conclusion, we are one difficult set of creature’s!! 

Image

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑