I Don’t Have A Pen.

I am lying in the dark,
staring straight through the ceiling,
imagining the stars,
above my head that I am feeling.

I glance across the room,
the four walls that entrap me.
I see a guitar un-tuned,
waiting for a moment to smite me.

I see clothes all scattered,
none to me that fit.
I am lost in my thoughts, I feel them shatter,
as under the moonlight I sit.

Just then I feel the breeze,
how I wish if it could be your touch.
I want this moment to freeze,
never changing; not little or much.

I sing to myself aloud,
as I feel a sudden rush of pain.
I experience losing all senses,
but its a different high I gain.

I rewind back my thoughts,
and I hear them all again.
So I grab a blank paper,
but I don’t have a pen..

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I Had A Dream Last Night.

I had a dream last night. . . . . .

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05.05 A.M., 20 years ago, somewhere in this world.
*loud cries of a baby*

“Congratulations!! It’s a girl!”
“Oh! Look at you, my daughter. I’m going to love you like there’s no tomorrow, I’ll always have your back, and most importantly, I’m going to raise you to become an extra-ordinary woman.”

The little girl stopped crying, she opened her eyes, and saw her whole life flash in the eyes of her father. She experienced a new emotion, she smiled.

“Dad, I think I’m afraid of the dark. I don’t see any colors! How do I see things if I don’t see any colors?”
“Darling, you’re about to learn something new today. You are going to learn how to see things with your eyes closed, and soon enough, you’ll see people the same way. You’ll see them through your heart, because you are not like the others. You are extra-ordinary, and never ever be afraid of anything, let the world fear you, for you’ll be the change they would want to see”

Little did the girl know about the intensity of her father’s words, but soon she’ll understand everything he ever said.
From that time on, she fell in love with the dark.

“Hey Pa, we have to prepare a speech for English class, pick what we will be in our future, and tell them why, but I am still struggling with ‘what’ let alone ‘why’.”
“That is very simple, tell them you’ll be yourself”

She laughed faintly.

Time arrived for her speech; surrounded by future Doctors, Lawyers, Actors and Ministers; she proudly announced that she’ll be herself, and also a writer. There was a slight giggle in the classroom. She won the competition.

Her life was turning out to be perfect. She was reading a lot, had the best set of friends, she was dancing, singing, acting, and loving science. But most importantly, she had a special relationship, something like no other. ‘I am extra-ordinary‘, she whispered to herself, keeping the earth below her feet.

Some time later, she experienced another emotion. Pain. Her father was hospitalized, she wasn’t even sure what that meant. She believed he’d come out of it like the strong man he is, and by God’s grace, she wasn’t disappointed. But the future held something else in store for this innocent child

Remember, no matter how you are on the outside, no matter whatever you go through, keep your soul clean, life will become much easier that way, and remind yourself that you are special.”

11.15 P.M. 8 years ago, somewhere in this world.
*long beep*

There was a flat line

The world shattered, the heart ached, tears rolled out, silence grew, something inside her died.
She lost her special relationship and she lost herself

Little while later. . . An angelic voice echoed.

You know Priyanka, my Mom told me once, ‘life is all about phases, one ends and another begins, just like waves’…

She could never fill the void, she liked the pain, it was bitter-sweet. Also, from that day on, she vowed to find herself, to be the extra-ordinary woman, to be the change the world would want to see, to be herself, to live her father’s dream, to work hard and become a writer, only to fail over and over again. But she was reminded by her soul that she is meant to be special, and she continued fighting.

A couple of years had passed. The harshest nightmare came to life. She couldn’t recognize herself, it dawned on her, she had become mediocre!

I had a dream last night. . . .


“What have you done to yourself! Can you imagine the pain I feel, how much it hurts, how disappointed I am to see MY DAUGHTER, who I raised to be extra-ordinary, become MEDIOCRE!! How could have you done this to yourself, how dare you let it happen! I get a chance, to see how my daughter is doing, and this is what I see? I am disappointed Priyanka. Just disappointed.”

He called her by her name, he never did that when he was alive. She didn’t quite understand the tone, was he screaming? He never did that either. She was lost for words. She woke up in pain. It really hurt.

7.05 A.M. 20 years later, somewhere in this world.

That morning, she made some harsh decisions. About herself, about her life.
But will she be able to comprehend? ‘No! No more thinking like a mediocre. Be the miracle, change things, do what you did best, inspire!‘ Barely some moments had passed, she was lost in her imagination. She experienced another emotion, she felt blessed.

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Note to the reader : Take whatever you can from the words written above, even though its difficult to understand. Mistakes are made to be undone by the greatness that lives inside us. I don’t how it all sounds, boring, weird, strange or amazing. That is yours to decide.

Thank you for reading!

Road To Redemption. .

A shadow by my side,
momentary breaths.
shuddering steps,
and dreams ahead.

I walk on my way 
towards impulsiveness,
‘Its a road less traveled, 
don’t take it’ they said.

I dream with open eyes,
living in obliviousness.
Swim in the mighty tides
of my thoughts, I never rest.

Ice is like the sun,
sun like snowy winters.
Such is my glory,
my untethered visions.

I lay awake
under the stars that wink at me.
Take a look at my life,
in a way they would see.

I see a void,
a vacuum, emptiness.
I wonder what would fill it?
Love or simple consciousness.

There are numerous answers,
some you may never find.
The beauty of life is such,
its arduous yet divine!

So I take a vow,
to help my soul breathe.
To achieve an oasis of serenity,
no more tears for me to weep.

*VOW*

“This life is lonely, dark and deep,
but I have certain promises to keep,
and miles to go. . . .before I sleep.”

 

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A Reverie.

Thousands of eyes rest on me,
resembling the scorching sun.
They’re all looking down upon me,
as my soul tries to run.  .  .  .

Run away from this vicious world,
who tries to tether my thoughts.
My hopes and my imagination,
of love and peace, from the start.  

Times have arrived where the people,
my people, have lost their faith,
In goodness and in humanity, 
but not cruelty and hate.

My soul thinks, as it runs away,
how would it feel, to become a child?
Would I see the world differently,
Would the Gods of benevolence shine?

As I close my eyes and kneel down,
to the omnipresent almighty.
I think of the words which best describe,
the grief, the sorrow, the anxiety.

But I pray no more for the eradication,
of negativity in our thoughts.
Love conquers all – they say,
so here is what I sought.

 

I wish, my lord, you bestow on us,
the ability to forgive and love.
To make this world a happier place,
by subjugating the evil and the worse.

When that happens,
our universe will become, 
as happier and merrier I dreamed it to be.
And we shall all pass the baton,
of love and serenity.

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